The Holiday Spirit

Christmas is here and the New Year is quickly approaching. There are two types of people during this season. Around this time of year, people are filled with joyful energy, or at least they pretend to be because that’s what is expected of them. Which one are you?

Around this year, I am filled with the former. I love being around my family and loved ones. There’s just something that ruins my mood every holiday. As a wife, I am unsure as to how I should approach this matter. My husband is one of those people who pretend to be filled with joyous energy. Every morning of a holiday he wakes up with a dreadful look on his face. Of course I am aware of his many looks because I’m that type of wife who is in tune with her husband. Although we are in tune with each other, I am unaware of his reasons for walking around sappy and moody every holiday. I’ve asked him about his reasons for being moody during plenty of holidays, but the questions are never answered. My unanswered questions only lead me to assume that he misses his mother. His mother passed away from breast cancer nearly eight years ago.

How can I…. I’m lost for words. There’s nothing I can do to fill that void in his heart, and I feel his feelings towards the holidays are unfair to me. I figure since he misses his mother, he will feel better if he’s around family members that remind him of her, so I push him to visit them during the holidays. He takes my advice often, and he comes home happy, but he misses out on our family time at home.

He’s the head of our household, so he should be home right?

What’s a gal to do? Will I become one of those people who pretends to be joyful during the holidays because I have a husband who’s stuck in a continuous cycle of mourning? It has been eight years and by no means am I rushing him into finding his “new normal” but I need him to communicate with me so that I am aware of his needs. I have no idea of what it feels like to lose a parent. The only thing I can do is try to understand what he’s dealing with, but I can only I understand so much on my own.

How can I keep my joyous holiday spirit when my head is not attached?

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